Wednesday, August 31, 2011

For everything else there's Mastercard--oh I mean Aaron

Hair product: $7.79
Body wash: $13.56
Shampoo: $2.74
Shaving cream: $1.12
Hand soap: $2.99
Contact solution: $2.78

Last day of summer Aaron destruction: priceless

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

School clothes shopping--ugh!

Back to school shopping is ridiculous.  What is awesome about homeschooling two of my kids is that there is no such thing as back to school.  They don't have anyone to impress with new clothes!  Now, my kids do get new clothes, but rather than a mad dash in August they get clothes when they need them.  I am not afforded that luxury with Aaron (well I could be, but EVERYONE else gets new clothes for school starting, so I usually get him a couple of new things too).  Taking boys clothes shopping is no fun.  Taking an autistic boy clothes shopping....well....I think I'd rather put some needles in my eyeball!  Usually I would just grab clothes at the store, bring them home and we'd be good to go.  Well, Aaron's put on a little bit of weight, and I can't seem to find him jeans that fit.  So that means he had to go with me.  I decided to hit JCPenney and Sears because they have husky jeans, and I figured if I went to the mall that no one goes to, it would at least be a little bit easier. 

I was trying to get out of the house quickly, so I wasn't really paying attention to what he was wearing--until we started walking into the mall.  Of course he was wearing yesterday's clothes.  Not only did he wear them yesterday, but they looked like he had been wearing them for weeks.  Awesome.  So here I am walking through the store with this kid with dirty clothes on, big old Winchester ear protectors on, making screeching noises.  Public humiliation.  Aaron follows me around as I'm grabbing clothes as fast as I can before he bolts away. I've got probably 10 different pairs of jeans for him to try on, and a couple of shirts.  We head into the dressing room and with EVERY SINGLE item of clothing I had to say, "don't take the tag off.  Aaron!  Don't take the tag off!" over and over again.  It took doing this at three stores before I was successful in finding him a pair of jeans that actually fit.  He was tired, and so was I.  At that point I didn't care that they were $27.99 a pair!  (Ok, I'm cheap when it comes to clothes that he will grow out of in 4 months).  So two pairs later we headed out of the mall and on to Target (another favorite of his--not).  By the time we got home we had been gone 3 hours and he and I were both done!  We're headed to meet his teacher and drop off school supplies now.  I can't wait until Thursday!

Monday, August 29, 2011

When there's a will there's a way

This kid will stop at nothing for freedom.  Tonight the three kids and I went over to some dear friends' house for dinner.  The kids were going swimming, and I brought a laptop (with headphones so I didn't have to listen to the same 3 second clip over and over again) for Aaron to watch videos when they were done.  It was a perfect plan.  He would get to swim and then watch videos, and I could have some adult conversation.  The house has two exits--the front door and the sliding glass back door.  I thought I was so smart--we pushed a chest up against the front door so he couldn't get out.  How's that for good friends?  In my wildest dreams nightmares I never imagined that I'd go over to someone's house for dinner and say, "Hey, do you have anything we could push in front of your door so that my kid won't escape.  Yeah, I know he's 10."  Anyhow, after blocking the front door we decided to sit at the dinner table in front of the sliding glass door.  He couldn't get out because both exits were blocked right?  Wrong.

I positioned myself so I could see him if he went down the hallway, but the stinker is QUIET.  I think he waited at the corner of the wall, waited for me to look down at my glass of wine and then tiptoed down the hall.  The next thing I know, Daughter and her friend come running in yelling, "Get Aaron, he's got his head out the window and is trying to jump out!!!"  WHAT?  We start looking for him in the bedrooms, and sure enough there he is, on top of a bunk bed, trying to get out of the window (that is at the top of the ceiling by the way)!  I got him down, but he kept trying to sneak back in there.  Finally my friend took the knob off of the door so he couldn't get into the room.  How's that for a friend?

Sunday, August 28, 2011

It's only 12:14

So far today my son has (in no particular order):

*flooded the mud pit in the backyard
*eaten clumps of sugar out of the sugar bag
*dug through the trash bag of little foam pieces and spread them everywhere
*taken the thread and string that I used to fix the couch and unraveled both of them into a tangled mess (just had to throw them away)
*taken one of the pieces of green foam left over from the fabric store and shredded it
*tried to take another piece of the left over foam (the really big one) and shred it, but I stopped him
*peed in a cup and dumped it into the toilet

And it's only 12:14 (pm that is)

It is 3 days, 20 hours, 40 minutes, 23 seconds until Thursday, September 1, 2011 at 9:00:00 AM

Not that I'm counting, nor have I put that count down timer on my desktop--YET--guess what I'm going to go do now?

Saturday, August 27, 2011

At least it's not the most expensive thing he's ruined

It's been a while since I've written anything.  It's not because there has been a lack of material, but things are a little crazy around here (we sold our house, and are going to be homeless because we don't have a house to go to), and writing about the continual mud, soap and shaving cream just seemed trivial.  Over the past few days I've thought, "geez, I should post on the blog", but my brain just wasn't "there".  In hindsight, I should have written.  I think Aaron may read this blog, and was offended that I hadn't written anything for a while.  So he needed to get my attention.  He decided to go big or go home!
First of all. This couch isn't even a year old.  In fact, this couch is probably only 6 months old.  I tell you this to make you feel that much worse for me!  I'm no longer in the fetal position, hidden in my bathroom, so I'm able to share the latest story.  Here goes:

Aaron woke up before me.  I got up to let the dogs outside and saw something on the floor, but I didn't have my glasses on, so I just assumed they had ripped up another one of their toys.  Aaron was on the computer, so I climbed back into my bed and figured I'd just listen for trouble (tactical error--I KNOW).  A little while later I put my glasses on, walked into the living room to find Aaron sitting on the couch with a piece of couch foam in his hands and another piece in his mouth.  According to Husband I just said "no, no, no, no".  I just remember walking back to my bed and putting the covers over my head.  Then I remember thinking, "I can't believe this is happening, this isn't happening, I can't believe it" (notice a theme in my thoughts).  As if that was going to fix anything!  The next thing I thought was "Well, at least it's not the most expensive thing he's ruined.  It's definitely the biggest, but not the most expensive".  In a sick way that spin on the situation made it somewhat (barely) better.  Since I wasn't in the room when the mutilation occurred, this is how I am piecing the events together.

1.  Aaron smeared some sort of delicious food product on the couch.
2.  Lucy (the psychotic puppy) decided to eat that food product remnant, but couldn't get what had seeped into the couch fibers, so decided to eat part of the couch to make sure she got it all.
3.  Aaron saw his opportunity of the couch being ripped open, to grab the foam out of it and rip it up.  (I can say this is a plausible theory because Aaron likes to rip up foam--he did this to a previous couch, multiple memory foam pillows AND my king size memory foam mattress topper).

After laying in my bed in denial I decided to take a shower before I assessed the entirety of the situation.  Not only did I walk out to foam couch everywhere, there was also sugar and popsicle stickiness everywhere (no exaggeration).  I took pictures for prosperity, and decided to text them to a few lucky people (my brother responded that he would have killed them--which I don't think he really would have--I don't think), and then posted it on Facebook.  Those of you who commented on the picture, thank you.  It made me feel better.  :)  Especially when you say kind things about me!  I cleaned up all of the popsicle/sugar mess, and picked up all of the foam and put it in a bag in case I would need it later. I threw a towel over it and decided to go to the beach!  A blue-raspberry Red Bull and the beach would put me in public so the safety of my child would be secure. 
Eventually it was time to figure out how I was going to fix the couch.  One of the problems is that the cushion is sewed down, so I couldn't just flip it over.  Believe me, I thought of that!  My genius mother told me to sacrifice one of the couch pillows and make a patch.  Since we played at the beach all day and I was tired, I decided I would fix it the next day (which is today).  I kept the towel on the couch.  However, this morning when I got out of bed, Aaron had ripped more foam out of it.  Nice.  

Since we're planning on moving I had packed my sewing stuff up (of course) so I didn't have the tools to fix this disaster.  So this was my game plan.  I called my mom and asked her if she would come over later to help me fix the couch.  I needed scissors, upholstery needles and Fray Check from her (but what I really wanted was her mad sewing skills).  I measured the gaping hole in my couch and headed to the fabric store for a chunk of foam, batting and upholstery thread.  When I got to the cutting counter I told the lady that I needed some foam and of course she asked me all kinds of questions I couldn't answer.  I told her the approximate measurements that I needed, and of course they didn't make it that thick.  She was nice, but wasn't really all that helpful--until I showed her the picture of the couch on my cell phone and told her why I was there.  Then a light switched, and I got instant sympathy from her.  I think I put her life into perspective and gave her a good story for later too!  She decided to walk me back to the foam and we picked out what we thought would work.  She also asked if I had a 40% off coupon (which of course I didn't), and when I told her no, she found one for me!  She said that she didn't need to make my life more miserable by the exorbitant cost of this stupid foam.  I walked out of the store $13.62 poorer (but that's a lot cheaper than a new couch!)  It would be wrong of me to keep the instructions of how to fix a mutilated couch all to myself, so I'm going to share them with you.  Here is how to fix your couch step by step (note: allow 4.5 HOURS to complete this project):

1.  Call your mom, call her "mommy", and beg for help.  If you do not have a mommy or yours doesn't know how to sew, call my mommy.  Her number is you really think I'd share that information?  I need her to myself!  

2.  Gather your supplies: high density foam, hacksaw (to cut the foam), string, upholstery needles and thread, material, scissors and pliers.  

3.  Wait for your mommy to come over.

4.  Sit for a long time, stare blankly at the couch, and try to figure out how in the heck you are going to fix this.  Decide on a game plan.

5.  Take the rogue springs, tie them down with string, and shove them back into place you think they belong. (You really don't know where this is because the inside is so shredded up, so make your best guess).

6.  Measure, draw, cut the foam with a hacksaw that you stole borrowed from Husband's tools.

7.   Cram foam into gaping hole, adjust cuts as necessary, cram additional pieces in there to fill the gaps.  Realize it's never going to look the way it did, so settle for "good enough".

8.  Shove a layer of batting on top of the foam.  I really don't know why you do this.  It was like that on the rest of the cushion, so I decided it was necessary for some reason.  I didn't question it, and neither should you.

 9.  Whip-stitch the shredded remains of what was once a pretty, flawless couch.

 10.  Take your scissors to the pillow.  :(  Make sure you make your cuts correctly, you only have so many mistakes before you're really out of fabric (and luck).  This is one of the reasons I called my mom.  She's smart this way--she did all of the thinking, and I just did the labor.  I'm not gonna lie, it was a little sad cutting that pillow.

11.  Spend a bunch more time trying to figure out the best way to place and sew that piece of pillow onto the couch.

12.  Take a break to poison your body with a Big Mac and fries because your brain isn't working at this point.

13.  Meticulously sew your fabric piece onto the couch.  Make sure to not break the needle with the pliers (because it sucks if you do).  If you've lost all dignity, put on your dad's headlamp so you can see your stitches better.

14.  Stand back and enjoy your handiwork
 Not bad!  You can't even tell can you???  Oh wait, that's the wrong cushion.  (My dad told me to do that).  Here's the right one:

So at the end of the day, I'm out $13.62, 4 1/2 hours of my time, a trip to the fabric store (time & gas), a couch pillow, and a perfect looking cushion.  As I'm sitting here writing, I'm reminding myself: at least it's not the most expensive thing he's ruined.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The dogs are good for something

Husband doesn't like animals.  Well, he says he likes animals, just other people's animals--he doesn't want any.  Well you can imagine how much he LOVES our two golden retrievers!  One of our dogs is 10 months old, and she's still a little on the crazy side.  She likes to bark, which drives all of us crazy.    However, last night it was a good thing...

We put Aaron to bed with a movie that he wanted to watch, and Husband, the other two kids, and I decided to watch Hoodwinked Too.  I ended up falling asleep partway through the movie, but woke up when the dogs started barking like crazy outside.  I got up to bring them in the house so they would be quiet.  What were they barking at?  Someone who was outside at 10:00 at night when he should have been in bed and didn't come out of his bedroom door?  If you have half a brain you've figured out who it is; but at this point I need to take you back in time.

A couple of years ago I woke up one morning to find Aaron not in his bed.  We had already put a lock on the outside of his door to keep him from getting out of his room in the middle of the night (because it had been a problem and none of us were sleeping).  We also had this contraption on his window so that he couldn't get out of the window, but if there was an emergency the fire department could have broken the window and gotten in.  (I put that part in for all of the people that freak out because "what if a fire happened and he was trapped in his room....".)  Well a lot of safety decisions are made in my house based not on fire, but rather Aaron escaping.  Anyhow, the contraption worked great until Aaron figured it out.  So I woke up one morning and Aaron was gone.  His door was locked so he couldn't have gotten out that way, and his window was wide open with the screen gone.  I ran outside and there was Aaron, wrapped in his blanket, asleep on the trampoline.  I kind of lost it with that one.  (He also escaped out his bedroom window at night when he was 3 at another house we lived in, but we were still up and saw him peeking in through the sliding glass door).  Needless to say we came up with another window solution. 

Fast forward to yesterday.  Since we showed the house we decided to take down our current Aaron window lock down so that people could open the window (and not wonder "what the heck is this here for?").  Well I'm pretty sure Aaron can read my mind.  Actually I'm positive he can read my mind.  I was closing his window last night before I put him to bed and thought to myself (which apparently I should stop thinking), "We need to put his lock thingie back up or he's going to get out the window in the middle of the night.  We're lucky he hasn't figured out that it's not on there."  But did I do anything with those thoughts?  Uh--nope!

So here the story comes full circle.  The dogs are outside barking.  I wake up from my sleep on the couch and go outside to yell at them.  The reason the dogs were barking though is because there was Aaron--sitting on a shelf outside with only underwear (at least he had those on!) and a blanket cape.  Needless to say the window contraption is back up and Aaron slept in his room last night.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Baby steps

I showed our house today twice AND had friends come over for dinner.  In between the two showings is when Aaron got into the bubbles (earlier post of the day), and in between the second showing and dinner is when Aaron got into.....wait for it...

I called "not it" so Husband got to do clean up on this one.  Actually, I was making dinner and he was hungry, so as not to delay his meal, Husband took pictures and cleaned up the mess.  Friends showed up, and while they were here Aaron did two pretty awesome things: 

1.  He actually got on the trampoline while other kids were jumping on it.  For those of you who don't know Aaron, this is a REALLY BIG deal.  First of all, he didn't know these kids, and there were 4 of them on there.  If he is on the trampoline first and other kids come on, he'll just get off.  So the fact that he went on the trampoline with kids already on there--that's pretty cool. 

2.  While friends were here, he decided to put this plastic tub on his head and walk around.  You can't see anything through it, so he was knocking into things--ha ha.  Then he decided to sit in it.  Well, I was watching him and he was trying to roll the tub over and couldn't.  It was pretty funny, especially when I realized he was stuck (I know, that's mean--don't care).  That's what he gets for making a mess with the bubbles and shaving cream!  :)  Anyhow, I looked at him and asked him if he needed help and he said, "help!".  So I sent Husband over to get him out.  I'm now thinking of ways to integrate the tub into our daily life.  Some people may have a time-out chair, well I have a time-out tub!  If I need to go to the bathroom and I think he may get into trouble--I'll just have him sit in the tub until I'm done.  I could see this working. 

Finally, most parents don't want their children to tell them to "go away".  Although I would argue, that most parents secretly don't mind when their children tell them to go away--they didn't want to be around their stinky attitudes anyway.  But that's not what this is about.  Apparently Husband was in Aaron's space.  He was snuggling with him before bed, and Aaron had had enough.  He pushed him and said "go away".  Rather than having hurt feelings, we're pretty much high-fiving each other.  Now that's messed up!


Soap bubbles are cool.  Bubbles that come from the little bottle with a wand aren't as cool (I know they are soap water too). Given the opportunity to make bubbles, Aaron will take it every time.  A few minutes ago he saw his opportunity.  Older brother just got a set of used golf clubs, so he is out on the deck washing them with soapy water.  He makes the "mistake" of coming in the house to grab something really quick while Aaron is still outside.  10 seconds max.  No joke.  No exaggeration.  Aaron grabbed the bucket of soapy water, dumped it out into the lawn, then took the top off of the soap container dumped the remainder of the COSTCO sized soap into the dog water bowl, and then added that to his water mess.  Of course after that he had to jump and play in it, and seeing as how it was already there I just let him have at it.  Luckily I caught him right as he was about to get the refill bucket that brother filled up.  He kind of gave me this mischievous "what?" sort of look and then ran back to his puddle.  No more than 2 minutes later he was running around naked because he got his clothes wet!  AWESOME.  He's currently soapy clean, dry and re-clothed! 

Saturday, August 13, 2011


I like Netflix.  I like the fact that you can keep a movie for months before you have to send it back.  I may do that frequently.  Then when you get a new movie, it's like Christmas--I've completely forgotten what I've put on my list because it was so long ago!  What I don't like about Netflix is Aaron.  I know, that doesn't make sense.  Stick with me.  Aaron also likes Netflix.  He has his videos that he likes to stream, but he also likes to add movies to the queue--movies that I have NO desire to watch.  Every time I send a movie back I forget this.  I was all excited that I finally sent my last movie back (Temple Grandin--which if you haven't seen it--you HAVE TO--it was awesome) and would get another one.  Imagine my disappointment when I got the email that says, "Shipped: Bob the Builder: The LIVE Show".  SUCK!  Despite wasting a few transit days for a lousy movie, I did manage to have a little fun with the situation.  Oldest son grabbed the mail and saw that there was a Netflix movie and I acted all excited that I was glad "it" was finally here.  HA HA HA HA  he was equally disappointed in the movie choice!  :)  So we immediately put it back in the mail, and hopefully we'll get a movie of OUR choice next week!

The Rip Rider

Life has been crazy over the past couple of days as we have put our house on the market and have made an offer on another one, so I've been cleaning, and doing this whole "staging" thing--which is basically lying to people who come into your house.  My house NEVER looks like it currently looks--there is WAY more crap and dirt!  But my house is super clean, and the extra crap is in a storage unit just waiting to be put into a new house.  :)  Anyhow--not sure where I was going with that. 

On with today's story!  This afternoon I decided that I was going to tackle the garage a bit, so I would have Aaron go in the front and ride his Rip Rider around the cul-de-sac while oldest son watched him.  I ended up watching him because he got into this whole routine thing that was funny to watch.  First he would ride part way up the neighbor's driveway (it's not steep, but it's got a slope) and then the rest of the driveway he would walk the trike up with it in between his legs.  Then he would come flying down the driveway and make a turn down the street.  He would go down as far as he could push it to the end of the street and then crash (on purpose) into the curb, hop off the trike and lay down in the grass like a super model.  Then he would throw some grass around, get back on the trike and ride back, parking his trike next to a really nice Audi (NOT mine--I wish) to check out his reflection in the freshly waxed car.  (Meanwhile I'm praying that he doesn't scratch the car up because that would be expensive).  He would flip around and then do the whole routine again.  Over and over and over and over and get the idea.  Finally he got tired of doing that, and Aaron left the Rip Rider in the middle of the street so he could go back into the house.  I got on it and started riding it back to the house (hey it's a fun little trike--you should Google it).  Aaron saw me riding it and started running behind me.  He grabbed my hair to pull the pony tail out of it (stinker), and while I was stopped he figured I may as well give him a ride.  So he plopped himself on top of me (I'm pretty sure we exceeded the weight limit at this point) and tried to get me to go.  At 5' 2" (ok 5' 1.5") I'm a little too tall for the thing, so you put the both of us on and it's not a good thing.  On top of that, the big warning label on the trike says "Must wear a helmet and shoes"--of which neither of us possessed.  We were quite the sight--so much so that my oldest decided to take a picture of us for your viewing pleasure.  He thought it was all fun and games until he started riding the trike and I had Aaron sit on HIS lap.  Then he didn't think it was so funny, and kept complaining that "he couldn't breathe" or some nonsense like that.  I just said, "it doesn't feel so good, does it?"  and then made Aaron get off.   :)  Good times! 

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Shopping because of Aaron

Here are four items on my shopping list that keep recurring, and today's shopping trip wouldn't have been complete without purchasing them AGAIN!
Well ok, the Red Bull has nothing to do with Aaron....there is NO WAY I am going to let him have one of those!  My neighbor got me hooked on Raspberry Red Bull sodas.  (You add raspberry Italian soda flavoring to a Red Bull--it's delicious!)  Not only are they tasty, but they (as in 2-ish) give me a little kick that I need to get through the day.  But of course the other things (shaving cream, shampoo, hand soap) are replacing what is missing in my house because "someone" dumped them out.  The bummer is--I took my mom's advice (weird huh? but that's not the bummer part so don't freak out Mom) and bought a refill container of soap--the plan is to only fill up enough in the container so that when he dumps it I don't lose the whole container (she's a genius).  Well, I went to put soap in the empty container only to realize that I had thrown away the empty container and now have nothing to put the soap in.  So if you come to my house for a visit, you'll still have to go to the kitchen sink to wash your hands after you use the restroom until I buy a new container that he can dump out and I can refill only partway. 

I don't really realize how crazy my day is when I'm in the middle of the trenches, but as I look back over my day--holy cow!  Today I needed groceries, so I took Aaron with me (there's my first mistake).  We made it to Lowe's and Office Depot.  In all of my 13 years of parenting, I have never had to deal with a kid puking in a store.  Until today.  Yay.  I'll spare you the details, but not before I tell you it was EVERYWHERE--me, him, the copy machine, the floor.  The poor gal at the counter asked if I needed a trash can (uh, yeah), and hands me a roll of paper towels as he's continuing to lose the Dr. Pepper and doughnut he had for breakfast.  I'm hoping the stain comes out of my pretty white shirt.  Needless to say, that cut my Costco and Target portion of the trip.  I checked out at Office Depot (seeing as how I was already in there), and asked for an extra bag "just in case"--luckily I didn't need it.  He ended up being fine--it was once again one of his weird puke things. 

Then after we got home he wanted my glasses (which I had on), so he came up to me and said, "I want gwasses".  I hadn't taught him that one, so I was very excited and gladly handed over my glasses.  For him to label an object, use the words appropriately, and be clear enough that I can understand him all without us teaching it to him--it was awesome awesome awesome!  The problem is I can't see without them.  So I would take them back, and then he would come back over to me and say "I want gwasses"....I would do as much work as I could stand without being able to see, and then I would go back and get them.  We played this "game" for a while, and then I think he got bored--he came back to it later on though.

I ended up leaving him in the mostly-capable hands of the other family members and went to finish the errands that were cut short by the "incident" at Office Depot.  It was nicer to be alone anyway.  When I got home, there was Aaron in the bathroom with the water running and his head under the faucet.  He'd get his head wet, spike his hair, look at himself in the mirror and make faces, dry it off with a towel, and then do it all over again.  He's so funny! 

Friday, August 5, 2011


...more days until school starts!  Not that I'm counting or anything.  Ok, maybe I have been checking the school district website daily to find out when the first day of school is--guilty as charged.  (Our teacher's union was finalizing negotiations or something like that, so we didn't know when school was going to start in the fall--until TODAY!!!)  The only bummer to that is I have 26 days to plan a school year for my other two!!!  Anyhow, I'm praying that the next 26 days fly by.  I hesitate writing anything before Aaron goes to bed; however, I need to get some stuff done after he's asleep, so I'm going to take the chance.  (Although the last time I did that it didn't work out so well.) 

Our day started out strong, but as soon as I decided to wash the windows, Aaron decided to wash the bathroom with shaving cream--again.  It's kind of boring even writing it.  I happens so often.  Yet, here I am--again--writing about shaving cream.  When I came in from window washing the outside, I decided to check on Aaron and found this:

AAHHHHHHHH....anyhow.  Today he knew how displeased I was at the mess he made, and he spent some "quality time" in his bedroom while I cleaned up (and for a little bit afterwards).  Anyhow, I cleaned it up and later that evening Husband decided to take me to dinner.  Very nice.  No one ended up dying :).  When we got home Aaron was on the computer with an open bottle of Dr. Pepper next to him.  I moved the liquid to where it belongs so that the computer wouldn't be ruined!  Safety first.  I'm ready for bed!  Oh wait--I have a ton of laundry to do because "SOMEONE" decided to play in my bathroom and now I don't have a shower curtain...

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Silly boy

For as naughty as Aaron is, I am blessed to have an affectionate boy!  He loves to be tickled, and will often come up to you and say, "more tickle" in this super cute voice.  I was up early this morning (um, that would be 6:00 am--I am NOT a morning person).  So this afternoon I was laying face down, dreaming about sleeping, when I hear Aaron walk into my room.  He climbs on the side of the bed has this evil giggle and then body slams me!

I won't disclose my weight because I don't care to be humiliated in front of a lot of people, but I can disclose Aaron's, and he comes in at probably 110lbs.  A friend who hadn't seen him in a bit says to me yesterday, "man, he bulked up"--the nice way of saying "man, your kid got fat".  Yes, he weighs double his 12 year-old sister.  He could stand to lose a few pounds.

Anyhow,  after he body slams me, he just stays laying on top of me laughing and then kind of bounces just to make it a little worse.  He can be particular about the way I wear my hair, and today I had it up.  So, it had to come down--which meant he had to pull the rubber band out of my hair, and that never feels good.  I have to watch him when he takes my hair down because a couple of times he's flushed my hair clips down the toilet.  Yeah--for reals.  After he takes my ponytail down (and I quickly grab the rubber band from him before he flushes it), he has to arrange my hair "just so".  Then he turns my head, body slams me again and presses his cheek up against mine.  He can see us in the mirror so he's making all of these faces and being super cute.  He gets tired of this, so he tells me "come here" and drags me off of the bed.  My closet doors are mirrored, so he gives me a hug and then tries to jump up.  How can I resist that?  He's my baby.  So I do a, "1, 2, 3 jump!", and then lift with my legs!  :)  He wraps his legs around my waist like a boa constrictor and then starts using the wall to push us in the direction he wants to go.  We play that game for a while until my sister comes over and I tell him to jump on her.  She couldn't lift him--wuss--and everyone thinks she's stronger than me....(oops, she's probably going to read this and then beat me up).  So I pick him back up and he "pushes" us to a chair.  He doesn't let go and just keeps looking at us in the mirror.  He flips my eyelids and I'm trying to make sure I walk away with the crappy eye sight I currently have.  I figure crappy eye sight is better than none.  Can you imagine being blind with an autistic child?  Just found something else to be thankful for!!!  But I digress.  He eventually gives me a big kiss on the lips and then a kiss on the cheek while watching us in the mirror--then just runs away.  It was about the cutest thing ever!

A few other things on his list for today: shaving cream in my bathroom (of course--no day would be complete without a little shaving cream), chewing a popsicle stick and getting it caught in his throat, letting that same popsicle melt on the NEW FLOOR and STAIN it ORANGE (I love Magic Erasers) , convincing Husband to jump with him on the trampoline in exchange for a kiss (Aaron, not me), and finishing off the night by jumping on the trampoline with a red inner tube around his waist.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

"I've got good news and I've got bad news"

Daughter and I went away for two nights to a cute little town in Washington.  She is such a big helper with her brother and carries a big burden with him, so she needed a little R & R.  So we packed up and left the boys behind while we had some fun.  I checked in throughout our trip, and no "incidents" were reported--until today--the last day--a few hours before we were going to come home.  Husband calls and says, "I've got good news, and I've got bad news."  Crap!  My brain starts going crazy (faster than he is able to talk), and before he's able to get anything out I've concluded that it's all okay because he said there was good news.  So the conversation goes something like this:

Husband: I have good news and I have bad news.
Me: Uh oh, what happened?
Husband: Wellllllll the bad news is (long pause)
Me: Just tell me!!!
Husband: Aaron got into some paint on the deck and it's splattered everywhere. Other son and I tried to clean it up the best we could, but there is still paint on the deck.  Oh, and he got paint on the dogs.
Me: What paint?
Husband: White paint.
Me: From WHERE?
Husband: Well, that's the good news.
Me: (In my head) Huh?
Husband: I painted the laundry room for you.
Me: Thank you (in a genuinely sincere tone).  So how did he get into the paint?
Husband: Well, I went to do something and I put the paint out on the deck for a minute.  I go back into the room to work on something and I hear other son say, "Aaron Reid, no sir".  (The paint was literally only out there for 5 minutes.)  I know that's not a good sign so I went out there to see Aaron covered in paint.  We hosed him off in the grass and tried to clean the deck off the best we could.
Me: Oh well, we were planning on pressure washing it this weekend anyway, hopefully it'll come off.

This picture does not do the paint job justice.  It's all over her ears and the other side of her!

Pippin got away with one spot on his forehead!

Fast forward to this evening.  I get home and there is Aaron--naked with a blanket cape on, sitting at the computer with a bag of Cheetoes spilled all around him.  The bag of sugar is out and has some sort of liquid poured into it.  Aaron runs to the bag of sugar and scoops out some of the gooey sugary mess.  The dog follows him to his chair, and licks the sugar off of him after he's smeared it all over his body.  (I guess he knows how good a sugar scrub is for your skin).  I go to the backyard to assess the damage (of course after saying hi).  Husband neglected to tell me that Aaron made hand prints on the deck bench as well.  As promised, the dogs were painted, with Lucy taking the brunt end of the painting.  I then walk into my bathroom, and it's obvious that Aaron has had fun with Q-tips and shaving cream in my bathroom while older brother was "watching" him. 

When I ask how the rest of the weekend went, I get the report that Aaron decided to mix sun tea and milk (and then throw the tea bags down the sink)....but other than that he was fine.  :)  I'm trying to decide if I'm ready for another "vacation" yet! Oh--and while we were there we went to the famous taffy shop and I picked up some banana taffy.  :)